Hagar was a nobody, an Egyptian slave woman, single and pregnant, cast out into the wilderness by her masters to fend for herself.\u00a0 She was hopeless\u2026until God appeared to her and promised to bless her beyond anything she could ever have asked for or imagined.\u00a0 Genesis 16:13 tells us that, as a result, \u201cShe gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: \u2018You are the God who sees me,\u2019 for she said, \u2018I have now seen the One who sees me.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 He was the God who saw her when no one else did.\u00a0<\/p>\n
In our flickering-screen, fast-paced world, few people ever feel truly seen.\u00a0 In the cacophony of social media, few people ever feel truly heard.\u00a0 That\u2019s probably why some people are always shouting while others cave in on themselves.\u00a0 The gospel-centered mentor makes sure every mentee is truly seen and heard.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/p>\n
That means beginning the mentor session in a relaxed way.\u00a0 Your mentees are generally juggling multiple vocations; they may just be arriving to the mentor session after a long day at the office; they may stumble in a bit stressed or scatter-brained.\u00a0 Additionally, a lot has transpired in their lives between sessions.\u00a0 Many issues pinball about their minds and hearts.\u00a0 They may be experiencing various emotions as they contemplate their time with you\u2014shame, guilt, excitement, uncertainty.\u00a0<\/p>\n
<\/p><\/a>Photo by Vitolda Klein<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a><\/div>\n Your task in the initial moments of the session is to help them transition from one arena to another, to relax a bit, and to reconnect with them relationally.\u00a0 Don\u2019t rush those initial moments to \u201cget down to business\u201d.\u00a0<\/p>\n Here are some helpful tips for beginning the mentor session in a relaxed way:\u00a0<\/p>\n Ask the mentee about his\/her life; it\u2019s that too big of a question, just ask him\/her to share one \u201chigh\u201d and one \u201clow\u201d from the last two weeks; or, \u201cWhat was the highlight of your week?\u201d or, \u201cWhat is the most interesting thing happening in your life right now?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n Get to know the mentee a bit more as a person by asking a fun question about his\/her life.\u00a0 For example, \u201ctell me about your favorite food;\u201d \u201ctell me about your childhood home;\u201d \u201ctell me about your children;\u201d \u201ctell me about the best place you have ever visited.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s the best advice you have ever been given?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWho is your favorite Disney character\/superhero\/sports figure and why?\u201d\u00a0 You can find hundreds of \u201cicebreaker\u201d questions like these on the internet.\u00a0 Of course, you will have to assess the mentee\u2019s comfort level before asking deeper or off-the-wall icebreaker questions. (For more about building a relationship with mentees outside of the mentor session, click here<\/a>.)\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n Try to avoid giving your mentee the impression that you are asking how he\/she did on actions steps.\u00a0 There is an appropriate space for this later in the session.\u00a0<\/p>\n Don\u2019t be afraid to share a bit about yourself.\u00a0 Because some mentors believe there should be a healthy distance between them and their mentees, they refrain from sharing anything personal.\u00a0 Certainly, there should be some formality to your relationship as mentor and mentee.\u00a0 However, sharing a bit about yourself lets mentees know that you are a real person just like they are, one who has joy and sorrows, ups and downs, and needs law and gospel<\/a> just like they do.\u00a0 You can share your weaknesses and even your failures without having to go into details about all the sinful things you have thought, said, and done.\u00a0<\/p>\n Once you have done some initial sharing, this is often a good place to say a simple prayer for your time together.\u00a0 You might take a few calming breaths together with the mentee.\u00a0 You want them to feel relaxed, safe, and comfortable.\u00a0<\/p>\n