Someone once made the distinction that counseling looks backward, and coaching/mentoring looks forward. He was not speaking pejoratively of counseling and positively of coaching/mentoring; he was just distinguishing between the trajectories of the two. In psychotherapy, you generally explore a client’s past to discover why she is struggling emotionally, spiritually, even physically in the present. The aim is to help the client address the past so that she can experience healing in the present and into the future. Coaching and gospel-centered mentoring start where the client/mentee is in the present and help him grow spiritually, physically, emotionally and socially/vocationally toward wholehearted character in the future.
The mentor should guard against letting a mentor session morph into a counseling session. If the mentee needs extensive pastoral care or professional counseling, the gospel-centered mentor will refer her appropriately or put on the pastoral care or professional counseling hat if he has been trained in this way.
Please also note a distinction between “pastoral care” and “professional counseling” here. Many pastors and other church leaders have been trained to offer pastoral care which uses law and gospel to help someone heal from spiritual wounds, whether self-inflicted or inflicted on her by others. That is not the same as professional counseling which is defined as “The application of mental health, psychological, or human development principles, through cognitive, affective, behavioral or systematic intervention strategies, that address wellness, personal growth, or career development, as well as pathology”.[1]
None of this implies that a mentor cannot discuss the mentee’s past with her. Sometimes mentees must evaluate their former habits and experiences to help them create a better future. Sometimes mentees must confess their past sins so they can move forward in the power of the gospel toward the future.
Certainly, mentoring, pastoral care, and professional counseling require many similar skills, such as listening well and asking good questions. But that does not imply that a well-trained mentor can act as a professional counselor; mentors are wise to stay in their lane of helping others grow as wholehearted followers of Christ who rest in him fully and reflect him faithfully.
Thoughts? I would love to hear them in the comments section.