Listen Well by Listening Actively
In the movie Inside Out, the feelings of a little girl, Riley, are personified as different characters. For example, there is “Joy,” “Sadness,” “Anger,” and “Disgust.” The movie mostly takes place in her mind, as we see Joy, Sadness, Anger, and Disgust interacting...
Help the Mentee Determine What to Work on
As two devastated disciples plodded toward Emmaus along the dusty road, a stranger approached and walked beside them. He plied them with questions: “What are you discussing together as you walk along?” When they related that they were discussing recent events in...
Mentoring and Coaching People through Their Strengths
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:13-14a. Our Creator intricately and intentionally wove together every detail of your mentees’ beings. They are blessed with...
Deal with Mentees’ Discouragement about Progress
When mentees are discouraged about lack of progress on a goal or action step, remind them first that these plans are not laws from God. Mentees have not sinned just because they did not complete their action steps last week. Be careful of giving the appearance of...
Review the Mentee’s Progress
Many people believe the old American proverb: “practice makes perfect.” In other words, if you practice a skill long enough (e.g., learning to play the piano), you will eventually perfect that skill. However, this proverb is partially incorrect. Here is the...
How to Make the Most of Accidental Mentors
My back is sore. My knee aches. And I’m tired. I stare at my row machine, barbell, and bench. I don’t want to lift. Maybe I should go clean the toilets? Or how about getting a head start on my taxes? Anything but another backbreaking WOD (Workout of the...
Watch Your Life and Doctrine Closely 2 of 2
You’ll find Part 1 of this brief essay here. The follow-up question might be, “Well, what does Paul mean by “with regard to yourself”? It only makes sense that he would be thinking back to his list of qualities for the overseer which he already gave in Chapter 3 of...
Watch Your Life and Doctrine Closely 1 of 2
When instructing Timothy about how to conduct himself as a young pastor, Paul wrote, “Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers” (1 Timothy 4:16 (NIV)). The definition of the word “watch,”...
18 Send the Mentee out with God’s Power
In these 18 brief videos we introduce you to the basics of Gospel-Centered Mentoring by explaining: 1) what Gospel-Centered mentoring is (7 videos) 2) how to prepare yourself and your mentee for the mentoring relationship (2 videos) and 3) how to facilitate a mentor...
17 Help the Mentee Craft a Plan, Part 2
In these 18 brief videos we introduce you to the basics of Gospel-Centered Mentoring by explaining: 1) what Gospel-Centered mentoring is (7 videos) 2) how to prepare yourself and your mentee for the mentoring relationship (2 videos) and 3) how to facilitate a mentor...
16 Help the Mentee Craft a Plan, Part 1
In these 18 brief videos we introduce you to the basics of Gospel-Centered Mentoring by explaining: 1) what Gospel-Centered mentoring is (7 videos) 2) how to prepare yourself and your mentee for the mentoring relationship (2 videos) and 3) how to facilitate a mentor...
15 Ask the Mentee Good Questions
In these 18 brief videos we introduce you to the basics of Gospel-Centered Mentoring by explaining: 1) what Gospel-Centered mentoring is (7 videos) 2) how to prepare yourself and your mentee for the mentoring relationship (2 videos) and 3) how to facilitate a mentor...
A Reading from Meh to Meaningful, My New Book Draft
I’m looking for feedback on sections of my new book draft “Meh to Meaningful.” What can you identify with? What is unclear? What do you want more of? What recommendations or ideas do you have? Help me craft a powerful tool for people who feel “meh” and want to...
Have a Listen to Meh to Meaningful, My New Book Draft
I’m looking for feedback on sections of my new book draft “Meh to Meaningful.” What can you identify with? What is unclear? What do you want more of? What recommendations or ideas do you have? Help me craft a powerful tool for people who feel “meh” and want to...
14 Listening Well to the Mentee
In these 18 brief videos we introduce you to the basics of Gospel-Centered Mentoring by explaining: 1) what Gospel-Centered mentoring is (7 videos) 2) how to prepare yourself and your mentee for the mentoring relationship (2 videos) and 3) how to facilitate a mentor...
13 Review the Mentee’s Progress
In these 18 brief videos we introduce you to the basics of Gospel-Centered Mentoring by explaining: 1) what Gospel-Centered mentoring is (7 videos) 2) how to prepare yourself and your mentee for the mentoring relationship (2 videos) and 3) how to facilitate a mentor...
Follow the Arrow Lady!
Because Koalas are reclusive, it’s a rare treat to glimpse one in the wild. They also sleep up to 20 hours per day, usually tucked high up in the crook of a tree branch. So, it’s quite difficult to spot them even when they are around. When we first arrived in...
12 Stand in for Christ
In these 18 brief videos we introduce you to the basics of Gospel-Centered Mentoring by explaining: 1) what Gospel-Centered mentoring is (7 videos) 2) how to prepare yourself and your mentee for the mentoring relationship (2 videos) and 3) how to facilitate a mentor...
The Difference between Mentoring, Professional Counseling, and Pastoral Care
Someone once made the distinction that counseling looks backward, and coaching/mentoring looks forward. He was not speaking pejoratively of counseling and positively of coaching/mentoring; he was just distinguishing between the trajectories of the two. In...
11 Fill up the Mentee with Encouragement
In these 18 brief videos we introduce you to the basics of Gospel-Centered Mentoring by explaining: 1) what Gospel-Centered mentoring is (7 videos) 2) how to prepare yourself and your mentee for the mentoring relationship (2 videos) and 3) how to facilitate a mentor...
Stand in for Christ in the Mentor Session
Sainted professor John Jeske liked to tell the story of a little boy who feared the dark. Every night, he woke up in a panic and cried out for his parents. Mom would rush in to soothe him and assure him that he was safe because God was there with him. Finally, one...
10 Prepare for the Mentor Session
In these 18 brief videos we introduce you to the basics of Gospel-Centered Mentoring by explaining: 1) what Gospel-Centered mentoring is (7 videos) 2) how to prepare yourself and your mentee for the mentoring relationship (2 videos) and 3) how to facilitate a mentor...
09 Nurture a Meaningful Relationship with the Mentee
In these 18 brief videos we introduce you to the basics of Gospel-Centered Mentoring by explaining: 1) what Gospel-Centered mentoring is (7 videos) 2) how to prepare yourself and your mentee for the mentoring relationship (2 videos) and 3) how to facilitate a mentor...
Goodbyes and G’days
Goodbyes We left Chiang Mai on June 10, bound for the UK wedding of our daughter Maddie to Ashley Garfitt. Chiang Mai was a wonderful home for us: a friendly and affordable city that welcomed our ministry teams, along with friends that became like family through the...
08 Prepare Yourself to Mentor
In these 18 brief videos we introduce you to the basics of Gospel-Centered Mentoring by explaining: 1) what Gospel-Centered mentoring is (7 videos) 2) how to prepare yourself and your mentee for the mentoring relationship (2 videos) and 3) how to facilitate a mentor...
07 The Realms of Gospel-Centered Mentoring
In these 18 brief videos we introduce you to the basics of Gospel-Centered Mentoring by explaining: 1) what Gospel-Centered mentoring is (7 videos) 2) how to prepare yourself and your mentee for the mentoring relationship (2 videos) and 3) how to facilitate a mentor...
Share a Devotional Thought in the Mentor Session
One important way to set a gospel-predominant tone for the mentor session is to share a devotional thought with the mentee. There are a few ways to do this depending on the amount of time you have to prepare beforehand as well as your level of comfort with the...
06 GCM Principles 6 and 7
In these 18 brief videos we introduce you to the basics of Gospel-Centered Mentoring by explaining: 1) what Gospel-Centered mentoring is (7 videos) 2) how to prepare yourself and your mentee for the mentoring relationship (2 videos) and 3) how to facilitate a mentor...
05 GCM Principle 5
In these 18 brief videos we introduce you to the basics of Gospel-Centered Mentoring by explaining: 1) what Gospel-Centered mentoring is (7 videos) 2) how to prepare yourself and your mentee for the mentoring relationship (2 videos) and 3) how to facilitate a mentor...
Identity Issues for Pastors Part 2
Before the pandemic, I went in for a medical check-up. It had been years. You know—needles, peeing in a cup, prodding, jabbing—I had better things to do. But it was time. When you start your yearly check-ups at year 49, they upsell you on the Platinum Package—at...
04 GCM Principles 3 and 4
In these 18 brief videos we introduce you to the basics of Gospel-Centered Mentoring by explaining: 1) what Gospel-Centered mentoring is (7 videos) 2) how to prepare yourself and your mentee for the mentoring relationship (2 videos) and 3) how to facilitate a mentor...
Identity Issues for Pastors Part 1
Introduction Same-name meetups are a thing now, thanks to Facebook and Instagram. Take the Josh Fight, for example, a charity fundraiser where dozens of “Josh”es brawl with pool noodles for the right to be called “Josh”. Recently, 256 people named “Milica Jovanovic”...
03 GCM Principles 1 and 2
In these 18 brief videos we introduce you to the basics of Gospel-Centered Mentoring by explaining: 1) what Gospel-Centered mentoring is (7 videos) 2) how to prepare yourself and your mentee for the mentoring relationship (2 videos) and 3) how to facilitate a mentor...
02 What is Wholeheartedness in GCM?
In these 18 brief videos we introduce you to the basics of Gospel-Centered Mentoring by explaining: 1) what Gospel-Centered mentoring is (7 videos) 2) how to prepare yourself and your mentee for the mentoring relationship (2 videos) and 3) how to facilitate a mentor...
01 Introduction to GCMentoring
In these 18 brief videos we introduce you to the basics of Gospel-Centered Mentoring by explaining: 1) what Gospel-Centered mentoring is (7 videos) 2) how to prepare yourself and your mentee for the mentoring relationship (2 videos) and 3) how to facilitate a mentor...
Last Call to Become a Gospel-Centered Mentor for Free
Dear Supporters of Gospel-Centered Mentoring! This is the last chance to take my new Udemy course, “Become a Gospel-Centered Mentor,” for FREE! I am looking for students who are willing to test out the course for me, so I can fix any glitches, edit any misprints, and...
Addressing Long-Distance Challenges to Transformative Mentoring
In our post-Covid, high tech world, mentor sessions do not always (often cannot) take place face-to-face. I recently wrote an article entitled “Maximizing Online Mentor Sessions” to address this modern reality. One of my coworkers, Dr. Guy Marquardt, who has pondered...
Want to Become a Gospel-Centered Mentor?
Dear Supporters of Gospel-Centered Mentoring! You are invited to take my new Udemy course, “Become a Gospel-Centered Mentor,” now available for FREE! I am looking for students who are willing to test out the course for me, so I can fix any glitches, edit any...
GCM 01-03 Pastor Daron Lindemann
Have you ever wondered what the term Gospel-centered mentoring actually means? Today we are talking with Pastor Daron Lindemann, one of the founders of CrossTrain Ministries, a coaching network for pastors. Daron does a fantastic job explaining how Gospel-Centered...
Mentoring through Eastern Eyes
The following guest article is written by my good friend and coworker, Pastor Zhao, who currently serves in East Asia. I continue to really appreciate his ability to understand the difference between Western and Eastern cultures and what we can learn from each other....
Like My New Author Page on Facebook!
I have just started a new Author Page on Facebook. I invite you to follow me there for updates on my forthcoming books, “Gospel-Centered Mentoring” and “The People’s Bible Devotions,” as well as information for my newest book about following Christ meaningfully. Click...
GCM 01-02 Ann and Lowell Tolly
What does it look like to serve God faithfully in your 60’s? In your 70’s or 80’s? Sometimes as Christians we can develop a retirement mindset when it comes to our spiritual lives. But today you’ll get to meet a retired couple that is sprinting to the finish line,...
What Realms Does Gospel-Centered Mentoring Address?
When Aladdin finds a magic lamp, the genie inside grants him three wishes, according to long-established tradition. But this is no ordinary genie who mindlessly obeys; this kindly spirit wisely mentors his new master. He advises love-struck Aladdin to be truthful...
Remember the Social/Vocational Realm
It’s heart breaking to hear people say “I’m only a _______” in relation to their God-given vocations. “I’m only a mom.” “I’m only a layperson in the church.” “I’m only a waiter.” “I’m only a low-level engineer.” What a pity more Christians don’t see the privilege...
What Will You Get with “Gospel-Centered Mentoring”?
Maybe the idea of mentoring still makes you a little uncomfortable. Maybe you are concerned that: Mentees will feel like you are forcing them to change, and they will be overly burdened by the plans you make together. You will not balance law and gospel properly...
Prepare Yourself for Gospel-Centered Mentoring
Set the stage for gospel-centered mentoring by becoming a gospel-centered model and finding your own mentor. In the movie Kung Fu Panda, the wicked snow leopard Tai Lung has escaped prison and threatens to destroy a peaceful civilization. The lazy, clumsy, chubby...
Find Your Own Mentor
In addition to your regular devotional time with God, it’s important to have your own mentor. Here’s a useful mantra for any Christian who seeks to mentor others: “Every Paul has his Timothy; and every Timothy, his Paul” (see 2 Timothy 1:1-14). If you are going to...
Spend Informal Time with the Mentee
So, what does it look like to give mentees personal, prioritized attention? In the following lessons, we will focus on a formal method of mentoring. However, much of mentoring, training, and relationship-building actually takes place in informal settings, such as...
Set up the Mentor Session
Prepare for the mentor session by setting the mentor schedule and location, preparing your heart for the session, and preparing for the session itself. Richard Branson, founder of Virgin Group once said, “If you ask any successful business person, they will always...
Bullhead – Special Edition
Hello, Friends! This is Author Matthew Doebler's wife Christine. Recently, he asked me to write about the bull-headed mentee. Why, you ask? Perhaps because that's ME! Even though I initially come across as the compliant middle child, I can stubbornly resist change...
Nurture a Meaningful Relationship with the Mentee
Nurture a meaningful relationship with mentees by making them a priority and spending informal time with them. Let’s return to Kung Fu Panda. Master Shifu’s initial methods of training Po to become the Dragon Warrior fail miserably. After decades training some of the...
Same Stuff, Different Day – Special Edition
This is a tale of two “s” words. The first one occurred in first grade. On classmates’ birthdays, our teacher would make a big birthday card out of construction paper which we would all sign throughout the day. As one particular card was getting passed around,...
Maximize Online Mentor Sessions
Sometimes, distance or other complications make it difficult to meet with mentees face-to-face. If you want to keep a pattern of bi-weekly mentor sessions, you may need to meet with them online.[1] Understandably, many mentors who are compelled to meet online mourn...
Roll Credits!
I just love watching heist movies, like “Oceans Eleven”, “the Italian Job”, and the old classic, “The Sting”. The plots essentially follow the same flow: the good guys have been humiliated by the bad guys in some way, and the good guys are determined to rob the bad...
Prepare Your Heart for the Session
Often, when you think about meeting with mentees, you might consider first what they will need spiritually and emotionally during the session. Perhaps you contemplate the challenges they might be working through or the sins they are struggling with and how you can...
A Letter to the Man Who Saved my Husband’s Ministry
Dear Rick, Each week I read our denomination’s Call Report which lists all the changes in public gospel ministry; it’s a touchstone to our church body back “home”. Whenever I read names under the “Resigned” category, I feel a pit in my stomach. By the grace of God,...
Join Me for the “God Loves Nobodies” Sermon Series!
Hello, everyone! I am thrilled and honored to let you know that my church, Crosslife in Pflugerville, TX, will begin a new sermon series this weekend, inspired by my recent book “God Loves Nobodies: Good News for Somebody Like Me”. View the teaser below: I invite you...
Prepare for the Session Itself
In addition to preparing your own heart for the mentor session, there are some important steps to preparing for the session itself. While these steps need not take long, please be intentional about them so you can capitalize on your time together with the mentee. ...
Christine and I Asked AI to Create a Podcast Intro
Be careful what you wish for, friends! I just wanted a song-generating AI, Suno.com, to help me brainstorm some ideas for a catchy intro to our podcast episodes. Here is what she came up with! Here are the lyrics for your audio pleasure! [Verse] Welcome to the Gospel...
GCM Episode 01-01 Dr. Rhoda Wolle
Find Dr. Wolle’s latest book, “Designed on Purpose for a Purpose, ” on Amazon Dr. Rhoda Wolle currently serves as Vice President for Organizational Development at Kingdom Workers. For more about seeing God’s work in the lives of mentees, see this article! For more...
Begin the Mentor Session in a Relaxed Way
Hagar was a nobody, an Egyptian slave woman, single and pregnant, cast out into the wilderness by her masters to fend for herself. She was hopeless…until God appeared to her and promised to bless her beyond anything she could ever have asked for or imagined. Genesis...
A Pastor of Pastors
In my last post, I asked, “Who pastors the pastors?” For the past decade, Pastor Daron Lindemann has coached my husband and the other missionaries on our Asia One Team. Daron’s energy and enthusiasm for the Gospel is contagious. He adores his wife, Cara, and...
Grace upon Grace
John 1:16 I think American expats have all experienced some strange Christmas sights in Asia. Purple lights on glittery pink pine trees. Santa Claus in the sweltering Summer heat. For many Asian companies (like American companies), Christmas is just...
The Resurrection Gets Personal – Excerpt from “God Loves Nobodies”
Mark 16:9 tells us that Mary was the first person to witness the resurrected Jesus. There were a lot of people he could have appeared to first, a lot of people you would have expected him to appear to before Mary Magdalene—the 11 disciples, for example, the men he...
Interlude – Excerpt from “God Loves Nobodies”
Some of you might be old enough to remember the opening montage of the classic television show, ABC’s Wide World of Sports. And if you remember that, you undoubtedly remember hearing the phrase “the agony of defeat.” You can probably still see it in your mind’s eye:...